1:21 am thoughts.

I think I write best at night.  I am usually too lazy to get out of my bed to sit down and type away at my computer.  I day dream about sitting in front of a beautiful window with trees, sipping tea and writing.  Writing wherever my pen takes me.  But this is a dream that is far away from reality.  First, yes we have a desk, but it's piled high with textbook after textbook and too many papers to count.  Second, I have lost the art of pen and paper.  Every once in a while I sit down with my journal and take time, much needed time, to leave a note of remembrance for my future.

Back to writing at night.  I should be asleep.  I know that morning is going to come and I am going to regret my decision to write down some of the thoughts that are swimming around in my head like movements from a dance I am trying to choreograph.

It's late.  I have a final to turn into tomorrow and I have been writing all day long, in fact all week long.  My classes this semester haven't required any sort of tests, just writing.  Writing all the time.  I am trying to find the fine line of creative writing with facts.  I want my readers to have interest, but it all must be supported by fact.  I think it's in my nature to write for likelihood.  (Probably why I am drawn to fiction over non-fiction almost 99% of the time).

So, here I am at 1:21 am, thinking that I should just probably go back to my paper, but I think I might scream if I have to look at one more APA detail.  So instead, I am listening to a new song I downloaded by Bon Iver, thank you to the recommendation of a friend and I am trying to put my thought into words.  Words that make sense.

Tonight I was thinking about the last time I cooked.  I honestly can't remember.  I am blessed with a husband who cooks for me.  There is nothing better than coming home to a nice green chicken enchilada. So incredibly delicious.  Also, I didn't clean my kitchen this week.  This never happens.  Cleaning soothes me.  I love to have things in some sort of order and I love routines.  I love my early morning Saturday runs.  I love to teach dance every Wednesday.  And I love a Diet Coke every day right around 1:45 pm.  I am a total creature of habit.  I love plans and being on time, and keeping to schedules.  This week I failed.  I literally couldn't find the time to clean my kitchen, I guess in all reality I could go and do it right now.  There is almost no way.  My eyes are closing as I type.

Second, there are pieces of furniture and bikes scattered all over our not-so-large living room.  We inherited a piece of furniture that I imagine being fabulous for a basement.  But now that I am looking at this piece of furniture, I am trying to think of when we will actually have a basement.  It's probably much further away than I even want to image.

Goodnight.